Things I’m Diggin’ Vol. 2

The-Guide-to-Dairy-Free-Coffee-Creamer-Silk-Almond-Creamer-pictured1. Silk Almond Creamer – Like many of you out there, I am completely incapable of functioning without a morning cup of coffee. Death before decaf and all that. I also HAVE to have some sort of creamer in it; I will not drink it black. Unless my best friend’s dad made the coffee…I don’t know what it is, but Papa T can brew a mean pot of the good good. Anyway, having a slight lactose intolerance and using a dairy creamer every single day was kind of like playing Russian roulette. Look, nobody ever said I was the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, okay? However, now that I’m trying this whole vegan thing, I’ve found Almond Creamer by Silk. It’s not as sweet as my other dairy-based stuff, but damn it’s delicious. I have tried both vanilla and hazelnut and I have not been disappointed. The only downside is that I’ve only been able to find it in small containers at my local grocery stores, so it gets a bit pricey having to buy more frequently.

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  1. “Feel It Still” by Portugal. The Man – This. Mother. Flippin. Song is so catchy. It’s a more recent release that I first heard on Sirius XM channel 36 Alt Nation maybe a couple of months ago and I was hooked. Being a newer song and on a forthcoming album, they play it pretty frequently (as in, I can almost put money on being able to hear it in the morning on the way to work and in the afternoon on my way home) but I’m still not tired of it, and you can bet I crank that shit every time. It’s actually number 1 on Alt Nation’s “Alt 18 Countdown” right now. Give it a listen, get your groove on, and wait (not so) patiently for the release of Portugal. The Man’s eighth full length album, Woodstock, on June 16th.
  1. Smashbox Cosmetics “Be Legendary Liquid Metal” lip color – Two weekends ago I experienced a relationship rite of passage when I dragged my boyfriend into Ulta with me. Honestly, we’ve been together for going on 6 months now, he’s lucky it didn’t happen sooner. As with almost any other time I make a visit to The Promised Land, did I need anything? No. Did I buy things anyway? Don’t ask stupid questions. Once he got over his amazement of the amount of makeup, and the fact that I was testing colors on the back of my hand (poor boy has so much to learn) he ended up helping me pick out of couple of lipsticks. One of his picks was “Be Legendary Liquid Metal” lipstick in Petal Metal by Smashbox. It’s a super metallic rose gold color and boy howdy do I ever love it. I think my favorite part is that when I put it on in the car, my boyfriend kissed me and asked, “Okay but how does this color look on me??” I love that ridiculous boy.

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  1. Deleting things that no longer bring joy – I’ve always been a big advocate of “weeding” out things and people in life. Some people think it’s kind of harsh to cut people out of your life, and depending on how you go about doing it, I suppose it could be. However, if people are no longer bringing positivity into your life I don’t see the point in keeping them around. Life is far too short to keep people who do nothing but drag you down front and center. This doesn’t just apply to people though! No longer enjoying Tumblr? Delete your account! I recently did this after having my account for 7 years and I feel so much better about life in general. I know that probably sounds dramatic, but I genuinely feel much lighter. You don’t really realize just how toxic Tumblr is until you just get rid of it all together. I’ve also deleted apps, cancelled subscriptions, and weeded out my closet. Some might call it “spring cleaning” (done late) but I call it cleansing.
  1. Flowy pants that are at least one size too big – Don’t get me wrong…I love a good skinny legged pant as much as the next person, but sometimes I don’t want to wiggle, jump, and fight my way into my pants at the ass crack of dawn. Sometimes, I want to let my ankles breathe and feel the swish of fabric against my skin. Cue flowy pants that are at least one size too big. I currently have three pairs that I absolutely love. They are the comfiest mother freakers I’ve ever been able to get away with wearing to work. Two of them are colored and patterned so I pair those with a tighter fitting solid color shirt (tucked in, so I don’t look like a complete blob) and some strappy sandals. The solid black ones get to be partnered up with pretty much any shirt I can randomly grab out of my closet (again, tucked in) and whatever shoes I see fit. It’s simple, but it’s cute and comfy and just professional looking enough that I don’t have to worry about “getting a talking to” at work.

Things I’m Diggin’ Vol. I

 

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  1. Harry Styles’ debut solo album “Harry Styles”. I have to admit, at first listen I wasn’t completely sold. However it was also about 5:30 in the morning on a Friday so I wasn’t super pleased with anything or anyone. It took 2 times of listening to the complete album for me to decide that, yes, I love it. It’s so different from what we’re used to getting from Harry with One Direction which made me realize that maybe what we were getting from him before wasn’t the whole (or perhaps true) Harry Styles. It’s easy to identify the musical influences and I gotta say…the boy’s got A+ taste. Fave tracks: Carolina, and Kiwi.

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2. My whole “trying out a plant-based diet” thing which I’ve just realized I haven’t actually written about yet oops – more on that later…has me discovering, trying, and enjoying (about half of the time) a plethora of new foods. I came across Black Jewell Popcorn and decided to give it a go. Turns out, this is some of the most delicious popcorn I’ve ever had. The box proudly boasts that it “Pops pure white, contains protective antioxidants, [is] 100% Natural Grain, gluten free, and Non-GMO verified.” So yeah, it’s pretty darn good for you. In Weight Watchers terms, it’s only 4 SmartPoints for 3 cups of popped popcorn which is actually quite a lot. If you’re in the market for a guilt-free snack, I highly suggest Black Jewell Popcorn.

3. Loafer mules. I don’t even own a pair (yet) but I’m freaking obsessed. It all started with those dang Gucci fur loafers, you know the ones, and here we are. I think they’re a spring staple, really. Throw on some cropped pants, a sweet blouse and slide into some mules and you’re out the door. I’m currently on the waiting list for 4 different pairs from Forever 21 and have a bunch on my wishlists at various stores. I’m just a bit concerned because I have stupidly wide feet, so I’m not sure how they would fit. Guess all I can do is buy a pair and find out, right?

4. Celebrity book clubs – but not Oprah’s. Although Oprah’s Book Club was sort of the leader in terms of celeb book clubs and had a good run of 15 years, it was never my jam. However, Florence Welch (of Florence + the Machine) has a book club called “Between Two Books” and it’s a total winner. There’s a Facebook group as well as an Instagram account, although I’ve found the latter to be the most up-to-date. I’ve read a few of the titles selected and they’ve all touched me in the profound, beautiful way only good literature can. Another fave celebrity book club of mine is Emma Watson’s feminist book club “Our Shared Shelf”. The group started on Goodreads, and also has an Instagram account. If you’re looking for more fem lit, then this book club should be your first and only stop.

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5. Gallo Family Vineyards “Sweet Pineapple” wine. Seriously, this stuff could end wars. Or start them, I suppose… Either way, it’s delicious. Very sweet (some might argue too sweet) but it’s light and refreshing and perfect to sip on a toasty day – like today! It has no nutrition label, and the Weight Watchers app didn’t recognize it when I scanned the barcode so I’m deeming it ZERO SmartPoints, please enjoy responsibly 😉 Side note: there is also a “Sweet Peach” flavor which will knock your socks off if you’re into that sort of thing.

Yesterday’s Kohl’s Finds

So I had to use my $15 Yes to You Kohl’s rewards yesterday (and yes, I HAD to use it…you can’t just let that shit expire) and this is what I managed to find. I’m really exited about all of the finds, to be honest. Also, the dress is navy and white which makes it even cuter in my mind. I’m going to wear it tomorrow with red accessories.

Why The Plus Sized Fashion Industry Can Kiss My Plus Sized Ass

Earlier this week while browsing through some of my favorite Instagrams and waiting for my Forever 21 Plus package to arrive, I had an idea; Why not try to become a plus size model? I’m not entirely unfortunate looking and hey, I can rock the larger sizes when I put my mind to it. With gorgeous women like Ashley Graham out there preaching body positivity and acceptance I thought, now’s your chance, Jordan. The train is heading in the right direction. Hop on now! Sadly, after researching some modeling agencies that have plus size, oh excuse me…’curve’ models, I discovered that I’m actually “too fat” or maybe just “not the right type of fat” to be a plus size model. Which just seems ridiculous to me. How can someone who wears plus size clothing, every single day of her life, be “too fat” to wear that clothing and have her picture taken? The answer is the astounding lack of representation in the plus size fashion industry.

But first, let’s talk about the term ‘plus size’. What does it even mean? Well, Wikipedia defines it as, “a euphemistic term given to clothing proportioned specifically for people whose bodies are larger than the average person’s.” The fashion industry defines it as “a term for models who are size 8 and up”. Google defines it as “(of clothing or people) of a size larger than the normal range.” And last but not least, the most worrisome definition of them all comes from popular website Urban Dictionary. There, the top definition for ‘plus size’ is:

“A nicer way to refer to someone who is overweight, typically a female model. It is a term that tries to make being overweight seem like a GOOD thing when in fact it is not. The modeling industry has been criticized for starving its models so now some people feel the need to turn things around and make muffin tops the new trend. We come in all shapes and sizes but that doesn’t mean we need to embrace being unhealthy whether that means glorifying big thigh gaps and collar bones or saying a “real woman” needs to have something you can “grab onto” or that her belly needs to be able to serve as a natural pillow that you can rest your head on.”

I’m not even sure where to begin here. Using the words ‘average’ and ‘normal’ in definitions of plus size alludes to the fact that women who wear those sizes are wrong, different, other. And while it’s great that lately there has been this outcry of women telling you to ‘love the body you have’ and that ‘beauty has no size’, one quick look at the fashion industry tells you that it most certainly does.

The first modeling management company I looked into when I was doing my research proudly boasts that it is their “mission to let models be healthy and happy, while providing them with an opportunity to work as a model at their natural body shape and size.” You know the saying, ‘sounds too good to be true’? Upon further research into their company, I came across their blog which gives you helpful tips on ‘How to become a model!’ Right after saying that they “really try hard to create opportunities for models that are not the ideal measurements because we feel beauty comes in many shapes and sizes and should be represented.” They go on to state that they “accept model submissions for models who are a minimum of 5’7”-6’1”,” and that they “look for models who are sizes 8-18. To be more specific [they] look for a hip measurement between 39″- 47″.” So by their standards, I’m 1 inch too short and my hips are 3 inches too wide, even though I comfortably wear size 18. Interesting. For an agency that prides themselves on stuff like “beauty at any size” what they really mean is “beauty at any size as long as you’re THIS size”.

The average American woman wears a size 14. The average plus size model wears size 8-12. Where are the women who wear size 18? 20? What about 26? How are ‘plus size’ women supposed to feel when we see a size 8-12 woman advertising clothing for size 22 bodies? Are we supposed to be inspired? Are we supposed to assume that we’re going to look like that if we wear those clothes? Like, ‘oh, if I just buy these skinny jeans and that top then I’ll have that killer hourglass figure!’ Please. It’s no different than ‘straight size’ clothing advertising where they have size 0 models wearing clothes meant for ‘normal size’ women, which is apparently size…what? 6? Bullshit. Do I need to say again that the average American woman wears size 14?? One of the major issues the fashion industry has (and I fear will continue to have) is a failure to recognize that different body types exist! Not every plus size woman is going to have that ‘perfect’ hourglass shape, but that’s what the industry sees as being plus size. It’s what the industry deems an ‘acceptable’ type of fat. Meaning that women like myself, who lack that hourglass figure, are ‘unacceptably’ fat. Along with the despairingly obvious lack of different body types, there’s an embarrassing lack of different races. I don’t think I know of a single Asian plus size model. I can only think of about 4 black plus size models. But I know of about 30 different white plus size models with their long, straight hair, blue eyes, and perfect hourglass bod. Where are my beautiful women of color? Disabled women? Where are the women with flaws? Cellulite? Muffin tops? You know…women people can actually relate to.

It’s bad enough that although more plus size clothing stores are beginning to pop up here and there, for the most part a size 16 woman can walk into a store and not find a single thing in her size. Occasionally stores will have a ‘plus size section’ which is usually a tiny corner in the back of an enormous store that offers maybe 10 different ill-fitting options, but it’s usually at a higher price than the same thing in straight sizes. Fat tax? It’s totally a Thing.

The problem with the plus size fashion industry is that it still ostracizes the women for whom it’s supposedly intended. But here’s the thing. Us Unacceptably Fat™ women, flawed women, short women, are the ones who keep all of the shot callers in the fashion industry in business. We see the ads. We buy the clothing. Simple as that.

Your Boobs Will Thank You

Alright ladies, it has been cited by fashion insiders several times over that about 80% of women go around wearing an incorrectly sized bra, and you know what? I say enough is enough. Ignorance is not an excuse, so let’s talk about this, shall we? As you may (or apparently may not) know, wearing ill fitting bras can have quite a few consequences, some of which are admittedly vain, but others are quite serious.

Continue reading “Your Boobs Will Thank You”