Cutting My Legs Shaving: The Only Guarantee in my Life

Nobody likes shaving. It’s a fact of life. I really don’t like shaving because no matter what I use or how quickly or slowly I use it, I cut my legs up. I wish I was exaggerating, but I’m really not. Band-Aid should be cutting me a fucking check…that’s how bloodied up my poor stems get from shaving. So I went on a mission to find something, anything that would actually make my legs all nice and smooth, but without the cuts. Here’s what I discovered.

Skintimate Raspberry Rain shaving cream

Smells amazing, but at what cost? It’s like $4 and it doesn’t last very long.

Venus razor

This is like the basic white girl of razors. It’s nothing special and it costs too much.

BIC Soleil razor

BIC razors are the Venus razor’s ugly cheapskate stepsister.

Those nameless razors that come in a pack of like 50 for 2 bucks at Rite Aid

You get what you pay for.

My dad’s Barbosal shaving cream that made my legs stink like man for approx. 97475438 days

Seriously, this shit made my legs smell like my dad’s face for days. Not okay.

Coconut oil

Coconut oil has many wonderful uses. In my experience using it for shaving is not one of them. It left my legs all slimy and weird.

Just plain ole water

Why did I even think this would be a good idea? It’s painful and left me with the worst razor burn of my life. Dumb move, Jordan.

Garnier Fructis Conditioner

This stuff slides off your legs and makes the bottom of the shower super slippery. Overall health and safety hazard.

Softsoap body wash

Made my legs smell really nice, but that’s about it. Also, very slippery on the shower floor.

My mom’s Schick Hydro razor (with a new blade, obviously)

FINALLY. A razor that left my legs super smooth and not cut up. They’re pretty damn expensive to be honest with you, but if it means I don’t have to wait for my legs to stop bleeding so I can put my goddamn jeans on, I’m willing to fork over some cash. 10/10 would recommend.


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