Your Boobs Will Thank You

Alright ladies, it has been cited by fashion insiders several times over that about 80% of women go around wearing an incorrectly sized bra, and you know what? I say enough is enough. Ignorance is not an excuse, so let’s talk about this, shall we? As you may (or apparently may not) know, wearing ill fitting bras can have quite a few consequences, some of which are admittedly vain, but others are quite serious.

Believe it or not, there are health consequences that are the result of wearing the wrong bra size. Many women wear bras with too large bands, and too small cup sizes. I assume this is because women either a) equate larger cup sizes with being ‘bad’ and b) they’re embarrassed about having to wear large cup sizes. I don’t understand either of these, to be honest. Women have boobs. Some are big, some are small. All are wonderful.  Anyway, the first and probably most obvious problems related to poorly fitting boobie holders are neck, shoulder, and back issues. I mean, let’s face it…boobs are heavy. When we wear a bra that doesn’t properly support our breasts from the bottom, lifting them up, and instead rely on the straps to keep them up and at ’em, we put a lot of strain on our shoulders/neck/back. This constant strain can lead to poor posture and headaches. Your boobs shouldn’t be giving you headaches! Furthermore, it has been discovered by The British School of Osteopathy that badly fitted bras can put stress on muscles and bones which could lead to breathing problems. The only time you should have breathing problems related to your boobs is when you’re doing yoga and they’re trying to suffocate you. Yes, I’m speaking from experience here. There are even potential circulation and skin problems that can arise from bad bras. (Brace yourself, we’re about to get a little TMI here…). My boobs are honestly a sad state of affairs. I’ll be the first to admit that I knowingly wear the wrong bra size. There are reasons behind this, but we’ll get to those later. So, because I wear ill fitting bras, my boobs can sometimes appear sad, and by ‘sad’ I mean ‘saggy’. Which honestly should not be happening at my age. My sad, saggy boobs occasionally cause an ‘under-teet’ rash to develop. I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking, “gross”. You’re absolutely right. It is both gross and painful. I only tell you this out of concern for your under-teet area.

MOVING ON.

Ill fitting bras affect the look you so painstakingly craft each and every morning. Bad bras can make your bust look bulky and weird. They can make it look saggy, frumpy, and sad. But nice, properly fitting bras can make you appear slimmer (score!), and help your clothing hang properly on your frame.

So I think that it’s time we all learn how to properly measure our bra size.

First of all, forget Victoria’s Secret. Their way of measuring your bust honestly makes no sense. They tell you to measure just above your bust, where the straps meet the top of the cup. This is also what they do if you go in and have them give you a measurement. I honestly have no idea what their logic is because that’s really not the area you should be concerned about. Also, in my experience their sizes run small (even if you size yourself correctly) and they don’t last long enough to justify spending $75 on a single boring nude bra. Seriously, the number of times I’ve been stabbed by broken underwire in a Vickie’s Whisper bra would astound you.

Here is the correct way to measure your bra size:

  1. Take a soft tape measure and measure around the band of your bra, directly under the bust and across your ribcage.
  2. Measure loosely around the fullest part of your bust, with the measuring tape straight across your back.
  3. Subtract your band measurement (step 1) from your bust measurement (step 2). This number correlates with a cup size. For instance if your band is 34 inches, and your bust is 36 inches, the difference is 2 inches which correlates with a B cup. Here’s a handy dandy chart for cup sizing.

The size you get may be shocking, believe me. But it’s important to remember that IT DOESN’T MATTER. I’ll even tell you mine. I’m a 38 G when I measure myself properly. Now, I mentioned that I’ll share my reasons for not wearing a 38 G bra and I’m a woman of my word. I own a grand total of 1 properly sized bra, and let me tell you I had to go on a serious hunt to find it. I wound up at Macy’s, desperately, frantically sorting through every single rack of bras there. When I realized it would cost me roughly an arm and a leg, I decided to just get the one. Unfortunately, larger cup size bras are incredibly difficult to find. You can basically scour Macy’s or hit up Nordstrom Rack – which I don’t even know where one is. I didn’t even know it was a Thing until a google search told me so. There are a few websites that offer larger bra sizes, but they’re such a finicky thing I’m weary of ordering one just to have it fit horribly. This is why I don’t wear a correct sized bra (even though I obviously know I should). They’re expensive, and damn near impossible to find. Also, they’re ugly. But that’s a discussion for a different day.

So that’s it. Measure yourself properly. Don’t be embarrassed or upset by the size. And consider shelling out for one or two. Your boobs will thank you.